What do you call home? Is it where your family are? Is it where your friends are?

I miss my home. I miss my family. I miss my parents. I miss my sister. I miss my nieces and everyone else.

I left home since I was thirteen years old. I cried that night, unable to sleep, thinking that it’s time to grow up, time to leave the loving embrace of my mum and dad.

Ever since then I taught myself to be more independent, to rely less on my parents. I worked really hard, trying not to disappoint them. I have to be successful.

Now that I am away from home for over ten years, I felt like I have lost my home, my originality.

Life is never the same anymore. Sometimes I feel there is no turning back.

I miss them. I felt like I have abandoned them. I want to be with them but I don’t know how to be at home anymore.

I am scared of the future ahead, not knowing where I will be. Where can I call home?

In the end I just want to say I love you mum, dad and sis with all of my heart.

12 thoughts on “Home

    • 🙂 Yes I left home when I was 13 years old. Indonesia was not safe at that time (1998 ish). There were many riots and especially dangerous for girls. So my parents decided to send me to Singapore for secondary school, meaning year 7-12. It is much safer in Singapore. I won’t lie, it was really tough at the start! I cried alot and miss my family so much every single day. But I guess I soldier on and learn to be independent. I am actually very very thankful and grateful that my parents sent me overseas. I have learnt so much and treasure life more. I feel really blessed . It is still hard eventhough I have been away from home for 13 years because I always feel very sad to leave my parents, whom are so old & fragile behind. But I am trying to visit them whenever I can and try my best to make them happy and proud. 🙂

      • Wow Suri, that’s really young. You are an absolute hit. You know what does not kill you makes you stronger and I can imagine that now you are thankful to your parents. They must be very very proud of you. Of course it’s hard to leave loved ones but can you imagine how hard it is/was for your parents. I’m doing my maths and so old they can not be. You have great parents, parents who can let go her daughter and do the very best for her to have a better life. I’m grateful to my parents too, I left home with 18 for work in an other city, but was able to go home over the weekends. This is nothing in comparison to your journey, but I’m grateful I could learn in young years to stand on my own feeds. The best parents can do! 🙂 I’m sure your parents are very happy and very very proud of you. I would it be too. 🙂

      • Thanks Erwin for your reply. Yes, I am very thankful to my parents that no words can express my gratitude. It must be very hard on them and it’s getting harder and harder as they get older. My parents are old now, my dad is 70+ already. Wow, you also left home at quite a young age. It’s such a good experience isn’t it? Actually during 1998, many families in Indonesia sent their kids overseas because it was so chaotic. Some of the kids are even younger than me! Some of them were only 6/7 years old! so it was still not that bad compared to others 🙂

      • Yes that’s really young. I guess you lived by a family in Singapore. Certainly the very young ones with 6/7 years have too. But still it’s not replacing the parents. I don’t think it gets harder for them. I left for Australia when my mother was 78. It was a very hard decision for me. Of course she did not like it being so far away, but she did understand it that we have to build our live when the time right for us. You know parents who care are happy when the kits are happy and successful and right where they are. You can have a much closer relationship with your parents over distance then many who are living in the same town and are seeing their parents ones or twice a year because they have too. Today you can Skype as long as you like, I could only call once a week.

      • Hi! You reply really quick! Most of us, including me lived in a hostel where there’s a guardian who looked after us. Your mum sounds really wise. Yeah, I agree. Sometimes distance makes the heart grow fonder. I treasure the time a lot when I m with my family because I know I do not get many chances. Yes! there is Skype now but my parents do not know how to use the internet and internet is really slow in Indonesia. But I do try to call them at least once a week 🙂

  • I think you can sign up and get free calls but not for Indonesia. If not the only you will lose is 10 Euro, but you can always use it for other calls. when the 3 months free period is finish. I use it like this.

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