I often ask myself, what is the purpose of life? What are we here for? What is the purpose of slaving away every day at work for? Many times, it seems that there is no meaning to life at all. I feel like being trapped in this cycle that just keep repeating and leads to nowhere. As years passed, the purpose of living is getting more and more blurry.
Ever since I started my PhD six months ago, I have not stopped asking myself if it is going to lead me somewhere. And lately I have doubts on my ability to complete my PhD. Stress, anxiousness and worry have started to kick in in only just 6 months. Every week is a challenge. There is always new and different expectations each week. Life as a PhD student is like a baby with a giant staircase. There are so many steps or obstacles to go through before reaching the top.
PhD require so much patience, hard work, determination and not-giving-up attitude. Am I really able to last for 3 years at this rate? Not knowing what lies ahead each week worried and stressed me out so much.
At times like this when I worry for the unnecessary and unimportant things in life, I always remember ‘Matthew 6:25-27 and 32-34’
‘Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?’
‘For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.’
I can never stop myself from worrying because I am human. But knowing God is always with me and provide me with everything I need makes living less daunting.